The Hills

One of my favorite parts of the week in Monday night because of "The Hills" on MTV. A group of us watch it every week in our friend's room (who will remain nameless because his masculinity may be harmed haha). I love "The Hills" because a lot of the themes in the show are things we can all relate to, but with a crazy Upper Class, spoiled, Californian twist on them. All the people that watch it with us really have grown to love (and hate) some of the characters and have really become attached to the show.

Joining Alpha Chi Omicron sorority is pretty much one of the best things I have ever done. I know in my heart that I will be friends with these girls for the rest of my life, and if I ever needed anything in 50 years, they would be there for me no matter what. Sure there's drama. When is there not drama when you take the 10 baddest bitches in Canton and make them run an organization by themselves?... but nothing will ever change the bond that we have as sisters. We work hard... party hard... and love hard. Love my girls :)

"There Comes A Point In Every Friendship, Where You Stop Being Friends & Become SISTERS"

I LOVE Martha Graham.
She is a genius. Though not a physically attractive woman, I consider her one of the most beautiful people in the world because she was able to perfect movement of the body and is one of the most influential American comtemporary dancers. She was not only a dancer and teacher but a great philsopher in my opinion. Here is one of my favorite quotes by her:

"There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost."

2nd Dad Poem.

My second dad was Lawson
For 4 months out of the year.
Swim season. My diving coach.
He taped up my ankles
And praised me when I had perfect entries and good height and distance
And sometimes he bitched, but only when he knew I wasn’t trying
Or if I was being a baby
He could piss me off like no one else
And it made me stop being scared of hitting the board or slapping the water
Which I'm sure was the point.
Made me see my shortcomings as an athlete.
What a jerk.
God, sometimes I hated him.
My mom and dad wouldn’t come watch
Mom : I’m scared you’ll hit your head.
Dad: I’m running the whole goddamn school district, ask your mom.
But Lawson always came, even after they stopped paying him in the 10th grade.
He was my dad, Senior night
Gave me my bouquet of cheap carnations and kissed me on the cheek.
I loved him.
He believed in me.
I graduated high school and 2 years passed.
Then that miserable bastard went and died on me.
Motorcycle accident.
What a way to go, broken glass.

I'm sitting here struggling to figure out what I should write here. I thought I would start by writing about my personal difficulties with this class because really, that's all I can think about at this point. I am a total left brain thinker. My academic career has been based solely on math and sciences (social and physical). I look at everything analytically and am compulsively organized. This class is extremely difficult for me because it requires... well, creativity. (duh.) I look at everything from a scientific, logical view and it's hard for me to look at it any other way. The last fictional, creative book I read was for ENG101, which I took my senior year of high school in 2002. Ask me to rip apart a book and match components of the literature with literary terms, piece of cake, but dear God please don't ask me to write about how I feel about it or even worse ask me to write anything creative myself. The entire time I was reading Mr. Dynamite I was trying to psychoanalyze the narrator and come up with a clinical diagnosis to suit what his actions, speech, and emotions. Normal people don't do that! [I don't think.] Well, that's really all I have to say. Hopefully something more "creative" will come to my mind for the next post.

Piano Freewrite

my mom made me take lessons as a kid i hated it Karla Schaumbach was my teacher ugh she used to sing while i played and mess me up. her dog was cute but i hated the piano. Daddy gave me $1 if i played a song perfect for him but it was still bullshit like the songs in those dumb books like putt putt the speedboat. who cares and then adagios and allegras and concertos as i grew older but i always hated it. then when my sister started taking violin they made us play together. ah such ghastly noise schreeching of strings and plinking of keys then everyone hated it hahaha. then i came home one day 22 years old 5 years after moving out. my mom sold that goddamn thing i cried like the time i begged my mom to quit. she wouldnt let me. couldnt let go of her dreams for me a piece of both of us was lost that day

Art?

People are so easily manipulated. Some guy slaps a bunch of leaves and rocks together and we call him a genius. A toilet pictured upside down is a masterpiece. I cannot deny these pieces are visually stimulating perhaps even thought provoking for some, but I just don't see these things as art and I don't feel that I should have to apologize for it.
This is art to me.